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The sky was a dark royal blue decorated by white, twinkling stars that hung on the Milky Way's invisible branches. The soft white glow of the moon subtley illuminated little __________________'s room, your child with your husband Lovino.

All of these familiar characteristics communicated that it was late night in South Italy, where everyone was sleeping away...except for one little family.

"Papa...please stay with me. I'm not ready to sleep yet.." your little _________________ said, looking at Lovino with puppy eyes.

Lovino let out a low growl and his shoulders tensed upward and shook a little but he bit his lip and exhaled, allowing his shoulders to relax with his breathing. It was already 10:30 PM and this KID still wasn't asleep...but no matter how angry he got he couldn't bring himself to throttle the kid like he would with Feliciano when he wanted to stay up late chatting.

"Papa...?" _________________ said again.

"Ok ok! Don't whine so much." Romano said, flicking off the bedroom light, leaving the door just ajar. Taking advantage of the dark he rolled his eyes before turning on a light instrumental lullaby, hoping to set the mood for __________________ to grow sleepy. "There; now I'll sit with you." Romano said half-heartedly, plopping down in the chair beside ________________'s bed.

"No! No! Papa I want a story!" _____________________ objected.

Romano pursed his lips in agitation but stopped himself again, hastily turning on ________________'s nightstand lamp and looking into those puppy eyes.

"Fine but it's the story that I pick ok." Lovino grumbled.

__________________ didn't seem to mind and became excited, pulling the covers up to (his/her) chin and waiting with anticipation.

Romano closed his eyes for a minute, took a deep breath, and reopened them to start.

"The cats nestle close to their kittens.." he began in a gentle, smooth voice. "the lambs have laid down with the sheep..." he continued, his eyes closed. "you're cozy and warm in your bed my dear...please.." his amber eyes snapped open "go the fuck to sleep."

The music in the background continued to delicately play.

Romano cleared his throat. "The windows are dark in the town, child. The whales huddle down in the deep. I'll read you one very last book if you swear..." his voice grew slightly edgy. "you'll go the fuck to sleep."

A few clouds brushed past the moon, causing a few undefined shapes to dance across _________________'s walls.

"The eagles who soar through the sky are at rest, and the creatures who crawl run and creep." Romano continued with elegance considering the situation.

A tiny voice interupted the story with a complaint.

Romano's eyebrow twitched. "I know you're not thirsty, that's bullshit; stop lying!" Romano snapped before grinning with hidden anger and pressing __________________ against the bed gently. "Lie the fuck down my darling..and sleep.."

The sound of a lone car passing by could be heard...

"The wind whispers soft through the grass, hun. The field mice they make not a's been thirty-eight minutes already..." the Italian said as his voice elevated. "Jesus Christ! What the fuck! Go. To. Sleep!"

A neighborhood dog can be heard in the far distance...calling out to another lone pup...

"All the kids from daycare are in dreamland..the froggy has made his last peep..." Romano continued.

Another interuption from the restless child...

Romano bristled. "Hell no you can't go to the bathroom! You know where you can go?! The FUCK to sleep!"

The eerie creeks of tree branches in the wind, and soft rustle of flowers whispered in the outdoors...

"The owls fly forth from the treetops; through the air they soar and they sweep.." Romano grit his teeth. "A hot crimson rage fills my heart, LOVE. For real. Shut the fuck up and sleep."

A single shooting star flew over your house, beautiful though unseen by most everyone...

"The cubs and the lions are snoring, wrapped in a big, snuggly heap." Romano rolled out.

A thought crossed through the father's mind, making him scowl in frustration.

"How come you can do all this other great shit, but you can't lie the fuck down and sleep?!" He snapped, almost conversationally to himself.

The sweet lullaby continued in the background...

"The seeds slumber beneath the earth now and the crops that the farmers will reap..." Romano purred, hoping the softer tone would soothe the child.

No..still awake the little one proceeded to do the dreaded...asking pointless questions just to stay awake.

Romano huffed. "No more questions. This interview's over. I've got two words for you kid: Fucking sleep!"

One of your pets stopped by the doorway to peer inside for a moment before moving on its way to find a comfortable place to nest for the night.

Romano breathed a little more raggedly this time, growing impatient. "The tiger reclines in the simmering jungle. The sparrow has silenced her cheep."

Yet another request from the child..

"Fuck your stuffed bear!" Romano yelled in his usual rage tone. "I'm not getting you shit! Close your eyes! Cut the crap! Sleep!"

A small sound of movement in the house could be heard, having Romano hoping to God __________________ didn't hear it.

He began to speak again. "The flowers doze low in the meadows and high on the mountains so steep."

Then...despair with the addition of exhaustion hit the already whiney Romano.

"My life is a failure. I'm a shitty-ass parent! Stop fuckin' with me please! ...and sleep" the Italian half-sobbed.

Finally the sound of silence was the only thing present...

"The giant pangolins of Madagscar are I lie here and openly WEEP!" he cried. "Sure, fine, watever, I'll bring you some milk. Who the fuck cares! You're not gonna sleep.." Romano groaned.

A pair of amber eyes scanned the room "This room is all I can remember...the furniture crappy and cheap.." Romano mumbled before watching his child who he so desperately tried to calm, lept out of bed.

He plopped back against ________________'s bed, allowing his mind to wander. You escape. You run down the I nod...the fuck off...and sleep...

Lovino's thoughts slowly drifted to a stop...

Around an hour later those amber eyes fluttered back open...and the thoughts started again...

Bleary and dazed I find your eyes shut, so I keep my fingers crossed tight, as I tip-toe away..and pray that you're fucking asleep.. he thought, his ass tight as a tick as he crept from _________________'s room.

Traveling down the stairs he smiled as he saw you, __________________, his beautiful wife. You were hell of a relief from all of that shit back in the other room and besides...he had wanted to spend time with you all day!

A confident smile finally formed on Romano's face as he rather happily pondered his current position.

We're FINALLY watching our movie. Popcorn's in the microwave...


Romano's eyes widened..and his back stiffened like a board when he felt a presence behind him that wasn't his wife's...

He growled...and he fumed...before finally.. "Oh shit, goddamn it, you've got to be kidding! Go the fuck back to sleep!"


The next morning, Lovino sat at the kitchen table with dark bags under his eyes as his child glomped him from behind.

"Papa! How're you this morning!" (he/she) giggled before realizing something. " look so tired...maybe you should lie down and sleep..."
XD some of the content here is mine but the story that Romano is telling is purely the work of Adam Mansbach. Those lines are from Adam Mansbach's book "Go the Fuck to Sleep". I take no credit for it ^^ XD this isn't the best of my work but it was fun to do! XD when I heard the story I just couldn't help but think of Romano right away. I hope you find it both cute and humorous like I did! Thanks for reading!

PS: I started writing my France x Reader today!

Like this? More here: [link]
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SpecialArtist17 Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Did you know this is a book? Go the Fuck to Sleep is the title of a book. You can go look it up.
horeylew Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2016
Read the description . . . . .
SpecialArtist17 Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh. I'm Sorry
horeylew Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2016
its fine ^_^
gabiatchley315 Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2015
Oh my word, this is priceless! It fits Romano almost perfectly though, well done!

:iconyayromanoplz: :iconromanoplz: :iconsexyromano2plz:
EpicCatBomb Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2015   Digital Artist
shaynalanibaker Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2015
lol my brother bought me this book for my kid and you have to fucking eat lol
XxImmortalTechxX Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2015  Student General Artist
This is so painfully in character. All the Hetaboos are weeping right now.
demondethgirl01 Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
i would kill my husband if he said those things to my child i'd be like 'you go to fucking sleep on the couch!, come on sweetheart you can come sleep with mommy'
Neko-Lucifer Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2015
TheExplosiveSushi Featured By Owner Apr 9, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
XD I'm glad you enjoyed it so much!
NoelVermillion987 Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2014
XD ROMA! you're not helping! You kind of sound like Jeff The Killer! xD I seriously can't stop laughing this is the best story ever!
avatarlover2 Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2014
Free Jeff the Killer Avvie :) Free Jeff the Killer Avvie :) jeffy wave jeffy wave Jeff Noms Jeff Noms Angry CJ Emote Angry CJ Emote Emote-Jeff's Snack Emote-Jeff's Snack Dancin' Worm Jeff Emote Dancin' Worm Jeff Emote Jeff the Killer Emote Jeff the Killer Emote go to sleep my child
NoelVermillion987 Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2014
omg xD
avatarlover2 Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2014
kitty239 Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2014
kiyokoyotsukisan Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2014   General Artist
omg this was perfect. i love that story, and i can totally see Romano readinhg it to our kid. holy crud this had me laughing so hard
IketheCOOL Featured By Owner May 31, 2014
Romano then flips the table over...
YamiBaki Featured By Owner May 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
This is a beautiful work of art that I have found and I am so glad I did. It matches Romano perfectly!
Ariosiss Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2014
I remeber this story...
AlexandriaEvans11 Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2014
I thought this was a child reader ... But I'm actually the wife ;_;
NirvanaRivera Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
*trying not to die of laughter*
Italianna Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
" Go.To.Sleep!"
WTF Romano??? O.O
Mehhh~~ Lovino is Jeff The Killer xO
Oh ma gurd ( oh my god )

(*- *)>
OtaMegaNeko10 Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2014  Student General Artist
LOL!!! To much Creepy pasta!!! Jeff says it nicer than Roma... XD
Italianna Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
Meow :3 
OtaMegaNeko10 Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2014  Student General Artist
Italianna Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
Tsukiko Tsukikakushi (Nyaa) [V1] 
OtaMegaNeko10 Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2014  Student General Artist
Italianna Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
^ ^

lol the randomness :P
OtaMegaNeko10 Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2014  Student General Artist
(1 Reply)
Fusionfire123 Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
If my father told me several times to go the fuck to sleep I'd be pretty scared. This kind of reminds me of what Jeff the Killer would tell his kids so that they would sleep.
ILoveXReader Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2014
This is definately Roman (but also reminds me of Jeff The Killer XD)
pammcrank Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2014
More like Jeff the killer
I'd be one scared mofo
ILoveXReader Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2014
This does remind me of Jeffey XD
alli911 Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh my gosh this is so perfect. I can just imagine Romano reading that XD I was dying of laughter
dietknife Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
your icon and the name of this god they go so good together

voIatiIe Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
It's so beautiful! XDD  :iconitssobeautifulplz:
iloveIZforevr Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I shall sing that song to my futcher kids
JullekEliseus Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I didn't mean to keep you up, papa!
umbreon-rules1998 Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
XD makes so much fucking sence. Thank you! *hugs*
homestuckrox413 Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2013
XD this is perfect!
nigela19 Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2013  Student Writer
XD things i would do,if i had a kid that wouldnt sleep
InsanitysWidow Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
LMAO! Really!? My sides hurt. Poor
Fioleeluvr Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
neji-deidara Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
I started reading this at 11:50 and my dad Actually came in told me "why fuck are you still up"
ItaCorcoran Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
Hahaha poor romano
dragons521 Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
xDD Hahahaha....Love this bro, Funny stuff :3
Animelover121767 Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2013
I wish he was my dad
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Submitted on
February 23, 2013
File Size
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Mature Content


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