It was another world conference today; which meant more of America going on about being a hero, England arguing with him, France jumping in to argue even more, almost all of the other countries being useless, and then Germany finally yelling to try and control the chaos.
Honestly though you couldn't care less about any of that today; you were far too distracted. You had a goal and a plan in mind for the day…
'Today is the day for sure this time.' you thought to yourself. 'I'm definitely going to tell him today exactly how I feel! No chickening out!'
Yes you were giving yourself a mental pep talk. Today you going to try to confess your feelings to your childhood friend…something you had been trying to do since you were twelve years old.
"____________! Dude!!!!" a voice shouted from behind you.
You had barely managed to turn yourself around, when you were pulled into a ridiculously tight hug.
"Agh! A-Alfred…you're crushing me!" you choked.
"Oh!" he exclaimed, pulling away from you and laughing. "How's it going ____________?"
"Fine." You said with a smile.
America…he was another one of your childhood friends; No, not the one you were going to confess to…just a good friend.
Suddenly America began to chuckle.
"What?" you asked curiously.
"You're cheeks are all red! Ooooooh….you gonna try and tell him that you like him again today?" America said with a wink.
Your face immediately lit up. "Al! Not so loud…" you said worriedly.
"Oh come on _____________! I was just teasing you." America laughed. Then he suddenly perked up. "Look! There he is now!" he said, turning you around by your shoulders.
You're cheeks flushed…oh no…the anxiety was coming back…you couldn't tell him today!
"Well what are you waiting for? Go talk to him. He's your best friend, it can't be THAT hard." America urged.
"Al…I can't; not today anyway…" you sighed.
America smirked greatly. "HEY SWEDEN! _____________ WANTS TO TALK TO YOU!!!" America shouted, drawing practically every country's attention to you.
Oh god….sure America was one of your best friends but….oh he was going to pay for this later.
Needless to say, he had certainly gotten Sweden's attention, as he was now approaching you and a laughing America.
"I'll leave you to it." America said before taking off.
Turning away from the direction Al took off in and facing back forward you were immediately faced with Sweden's intent gaze.
"Oh, hi Berwald." You said with a casual smile, trying to make up for the riot earlier.
He made a small sound of acknowledgement to your greeting and continued to look on at you.
You understood most people would have been terrified by Sweden right now, with the intense gaze and all…but you actually liked it for some reason. You had always liked Sweden.
He was the exact opposite of your best friend Alfred, but was nonetheless an absolutely amazing person to you. You had met when you were very young; just a little kid. Something about him drew you to him, whereas most people were scared away by his demeanor.
It was that quietness you liked. It left so much to your imagination; what could he be thinking? What was on his mind?
Because of his nature you became all the more interested in him. He was so quiet…you wanted to learn more about him. And you actually found his silence somewhat inspirational and you admired it. He didn't have to say a lot to get his point across, whereas your friend America would fire off five paragraphs about something that could be explained in a single sentence.
In addition to all of that, as a child you thought he was cute. Most people had no idea what the hell you were talking about when you described Sweden as cute…but he really was. It was a different kind of cute though; not like Italy's cuteness or Finland's cuteness…it was special.
Now that he was grown like you, you still found him cute…but more than anything, he was certainly handsome now. You'd be lying if you said you weren't ridiculously attracted to everything about him. That strong build…those deep blue eyes were unparalleled in their beauty…his gorgeous blonde hair…you even liked how tall he was…everything about him was just perfect to you.
"_____________?" a low voice said.
"Huh?!" you said hurriedly. You looked up and noticed Sweden was still focused on you…shit….you had been zoning out.
"Oh…um, sorry Sweden, I was kinda just thinking for a second there." You explained with a laugh.
"You wanted to talk." He said simply.
"Oh yeah…I um…just wanted to say hi! You're my best friend after all! How are you doing?" you asked with a smile.
"Fine." He replied.
Now most people would consider his plain answers unfriendly, as if he didn't care or was being rude and neglectful…but no…he just wanted to keep things simple…and you knew under that intense presence of his and that bluntness…he was so gentle and loving.
"That's good." You said happily. "I'm always thinking about you, you know."
"You too." Sweden said.
"Huh?" you said blinking a few times.
"I always think of you." He said, confirming what he meant.
You couldn't help but allow your cheeks to turn slightly rosy at his words…sure you were both best friends and all and you were sure he thought of you from time to time but….but this much? It made you so happy.
"That makes me happy, Berwald…" you said softly.
He made another sound of acknowledgement and understanding, his eyes never once leaving your form.
"Well the meeting is starting soon. Want to sit next to me?" you asked with a smile.
"Yeah." He answered following after you to the conference room.
As you had expected the meeting was a fit of pointless squabbling and France being a creeper. Though it was slightly distracting, you were more or less completely focused on the random doodle you were drawing on a pad of paper you brought with you. It wasn't anything special…what you were really trying to do was distract yourself from Sweden so you wouldn't keep looking at him over and over. Despite your efforts to keep your eyes off of him however, you couldn't help but steal the occasional glance.
Little did you know that every time you looked away, Sweden stole a glance of his own…
You sighed as you walked out of the conference room with Sweden beside you.
"That was another silly meeting huh?" you said looking at the man beside you.
He looked over at you and made a sound of agreement.
Sweden….you were so happy being with him…even if he didn't say a word, you were happy…
"Sweden…" you said, stopping in your stride suddenly.
Nobody else was around…
He stopped along with you and focused on you, waiting for you to continue.
"Berwald…I…there's something that I've been thinking about for a long time and I…I wanted to talk to you about it…" you gulped hard. You couldn't believe you were actually doing this! "Berwald…I—"
"____________!!!!!!" an obnoxious voice shouted, shattering your moment with Sweden.
Oh god no…you knew who that was.
Before you knew it, you had a pair of hands massaging your shoulders from behind.
"How's my ____________?" the ruby eyed man asked.
"I'm fine. And I'm not yours Prussia…" you sighed, pulling away from his touch and facing him.
"So ____________! Ready to go out on a date with the awesome me?!" he said with a cocky smirk.
"No Prussia. For the millionth time, I'm sorry but I don't return your feelings." You sighed.
"Oh come on!" Prussia said, taking your wrist.
You were about to respond when Sweden stepped in between you two. He didn't say a word, but simply stared Prussia down.
Prussia was confident at first as he barked random things about how you were his and how he wasn't scared of Sweden…until finally his confidence faded…that stare down could get to anyone.
"Geeze __________! Why do you hang out with this creepy guy?" Prussia complained.
"Sweden is not creepy! Don't you dare talk about him like that!" you shouted, getting in Prussia's face.
Prussia simply laughed and smirked at you. "You have my number. Just give me a call to set up a date when you realize how awesome I am!"
And with that the silver haired man took off….
"What a freak...I'm sorry Berwald. What he said to you was really mean…" you said, feeling guilty that Prussia had insulted your friend just to get to you.
"It's fine." He said.
You smiled at Sweden…he was just so perfect….
"What were you saying?" Sweden said suddenly, drawing you from your thoughts.
"Huh?" you asked, blinking.
"Earlier, before he came." Sweden said.
You blushed. Oh god…this was not the right moment anymore! "Um…I just wanted to say I was thinking we should go to lunch together! Want to go with me to get something to eat?" you asked with a smile.
"Yeah." Your best friend replied.
With a smile, the two of you walked out of the conference building….and unbeknownst to you, your journal had slipped from the small bag you were carrying with you…and someone was close behind to pick it up…
It was three days later now and you found yourself in your room putting on your favorite outfit. Just after you got home from the last world conference, Alfred had called you and said he was throwing a party and all the countries would be there; naturally you had immediately accepted, knowing that Sweden would be there too…
Sweden…you remembered how you met. It was so silly and kind of stupid actually but you treasured the memory. You were little at the time and had fallen and scraped your knees and sprained your ankle; lots of other countries laughed as you started to tear up. It was so embarrassing being laughed at by so many people; you had closed your eyes and tried to endure it…then all the sudden, their laughter disappeared. When you looked around, you saw that all the countries had fled, and in their place was a single country…there he was…your Sweden.
He wasn't that much older than you but he was definitely tall and strong for his age, and of course, incredibly cute to you. He asked you if you were ok, and lifted you up…he carried you to somewhere safe and wordlessly cleaned up your scrapes and treated your ankle. You had both become best friends that day and had only grown closer since that time. As cheesy as it sounded, you truly had fallen for him at first sight.
'Well, time to go.' You thought, looking at the clock on your nightstand.
Before leaving you reached for your small bag…there was always one thing you NEVER left your house without; your journal. For some reason you felt safer when it was with you, worrying that if you left it behind, someone would find it and read it.
Looking inside your bag, your eyes filled with horror.
"My journal!" you cried, overturning your bag and tearing through all the items to try and find the thing; it wasn't there. "I…I was sure I had it…" you said with anxiety clear in your voice.
'I don't have time to look for it now though…I'm sure I just dropped it or left it at the conference or something. Since nobody has called to give it to me, I'm sure it's just sitting around…' you thought to yourself before finally gathering yourself and leaving for the party.
Upon arriving at the building America rented for the party, you were immediately choke hugged by Alfred once again; you were used to it though; it happened every time you saw him.
"Woo hoo! I'm so glad you could show up!" America said excitedly; you couldn't help but laugh at his childish enthusiasm.
"Thanks for having me over, America." You said with a smile.
"Hey come on! You're my friend! It wouldn't be a party without you!" the blonde laughed. "Oooh but I'm suuure you're wondering where your adorable Sweden is huh?" he teased.
"Alfred…" you sighed, shaking your head.
"Hey, calm down. He's over there." America pointed out, motioning to the far corner of the room.
"Thanks Al." you said before making your way over to the tall man. "Hey Sweden." You said happily.
"____________." He said turning to you.
"Sorry I'm a little late; I got kind of hung up on something." You explained.
"It's fine." He replied.
After the small introduction you and Sweden began to chat happily together; of course Sweden didn't do as much of the talking and his facial expression remained the same most of the time, but you could feel that he was happy as well.
In the background you could hear a few of the countries going up on stage to sing a couple of songs. Some were wonderful like Hungary…but then Denmark had gone up and tried to sing and it sounded like a dying cat.
"Denmark…that guy has more than a few issues." You laughed, before looking to your friend again. "I'm really having a good time with you though Sweden…" you said softly.
"Me too." He answered.
For a moment you could have sworn you saw his cheeks turn a slight pink…but no; it must have just been the room's dim lighting playing tricks on your eyes, or maybe you were tricking yourself by getting too hopeful.
Your eyes were drawn to the stage when you heard the beautiful sound of the piano; ah…Austria was playing. It truly was beautiful and you certainly envied the man for his skills.
Looking around you smiled at the sight of people dancing gently to the song, except for Alfred who was dancing to it as if it were a rock song.
"_____________." Sweden said, getting your attention.
"Yeah?" you said gently.
"Do you want to dance?" he asked you slowly.
Your eyes widened…Sweden was asking you to dance…
"Y-yeah…sure." You said slowly, trying in vain to mask your blush.
You made a small squeaking sound when you felt Sweden take your hand gently; he quickly withdrew.
"No?" he asked.
"Ah! N-no…it's fine…I just…" you tried to explain.
You blushed when Sweden took your hand once more; it made you happy…even though you couldn't explain what you wanted, Sweden seemed to understand what you meant perfectly.
Before you knew it, you were out on the dance floor with Sweden, still an arm's length away from him, only holding hands. The music had changed and become more elegant and romantic as violins and other smaller instruments joined in along with Austria's song. Listening to it, you knew this wasn't part of Alfred's idea; it was probably something England added in.
You were snapped from your daze when you felt Sweden put a hand on your waist.
"S-Sweden…" you said, laughing nervously.
He looked on at you as if waiting for you to continue speaking.
"I…don't know how to dance…" you finished weakly.
"It's fine." He said, taking your both of your hands in his.
Your face immediately lit up and you held your breath, trying to remain calm. Why? Why couldn't you just relax and picture him as nothing more than your best friend right now?
"There." He said, resting your hands on top of his shoulders, before moving his hands to your waist, holding it gently.
Yes….gently…that was what you loved about Sweden; sure he was a big guy and undoubtedly strong, but he treated you so gently and with the utmost respect.
Every so slowly, you began to move with him in a simple dance. It really wasn't anything special; probably not even a dance, but you didn't care. You were shy at first and tense but noting Sweden's relaxation, you couldn't help but relax yourself.
As the song's romantic tune became more intimate in nature, so did your dance with Sweden without you even really realizing it. Gradually, your arms had moved from his shoulders, to around his neck as you rested your head against his chest. You closed your eyes, listening to his strong and steady heartbeat; every once and a while you could have sworn you heard the organ's rate quicken but you weren't sure.
Your body slowly came closer to Berwald's until your bodies were almost entirely against each other. You felt so relaxed…so happy…so peaceful; you never wanted this to stop; you loved Berwald so much. Even if he never loved you back, you were at least grateful to be in the strong, safe, and sweet hold of the gentle giant.
Then suddenly your peaceful moment was shattered when the beautiful music stopped and was replaced by a loud obnoxious voice shouting into the microphone.
"HEY EVERYONE! YOU HAVING A GOOD TIME?!" the voice shouted.
You looked up and saw Prussia there; you immediately scowled; what an ass he was for ruining your moment. You separated yourself from Sweden so that now his hands only rested on your waist loosely as you both focused your attention on the Prussian.
"So since everyone was showing their talents up here, I thought I would too!" Prussia said with a grin.
You laughed. "Can't wait to see what that's like."
"So I was gonna sing for you with my awesome voice at first or maybe just stand up here so you could look at the awesome me, but I decided to read something romantic for you instead, seeing as it fits the mood so well." Prussia grinned…that grin wasn't just cocky…it seemed…cruel?
Then your world stopped…you were frozen in place when you saw Prussia pull out something all too familiar from behind his back; your journal.
"So then, if everyone's listening, here's some writing from our very own _____________!" Prussia said with a smirk.
"No…" you breathed.
You watched in terror, still frozen as Prussia cleared his throat.
"Ok, so today I went out with him again today and as always it was sooooo wonderful!" Prussia said in a theatrical voice. "Oh I wish you could see how wonderful he is! Sure we only went to the park together but I don't care what we're doing as long as we can be together…." He said with a flowery sigh at the end, making your words seem even sappier and hopelessly romantic. "Of course, I'm a coward as always though so I couldn't confess my feelings to him. How can I when he's just SO CUTE? He's everything I've ever wanted and more! I've been trying to tell him since I was twelve, how much I love that blonde hair and those blue eyes…and now he's just so handsome. Well I guess, I'll just have to build up some more courage before I can finally tell him how much I love him. Because I can't say it out loud; I'll say the words of my heart here." Prussia said with a great smile.
'No…please no…' you pleaded in your mind.
"I love you Sweden." He finished, with a dramatic spin and a smile.
Suddenly you regained some amount of focus and noticed that almost everyone in the room was staring at you, and Prussia was giving you a smug look. Finally you forced yourself to look at Sweden. His face…he looked surprised; shocked at what he had just heard.
You could feel yourself tearing up. 'For his face to change so much…for him to be looking at me like this…he must be mortified!' you thought painfully.
"___________..." Sweden began.
You wouldn't hear of it. Without any more thought, you shoved your way out of his loose hold and ran out the door as fast as you could, tears streaming down your cheeks. Flinging open the front door, you didn't even bother to close it as you ran to your car and drove off as quickly as you could without looking back.
…how could this have happened…?
Slowly but surely your eyes cracked open, revealing the bright sunlight that was now flooding your room. You felt like you had just gotten hit by a bus. You tried to remember exactly what happened…it didn't take long to remember. Looking at yourself in the mirror across from your bed, you saw your cheeks stained a charcoal color from your mascara woven tears. Looking down at your messy sheets you were now tangled in, you noted that their stains matched your cheeks. You had cried yourself to sleep…that's right…Berwald…
At the thought of his name, you immediately felt silent, hot tears streaming down your cheeks again as you fell back against your pillow. Why? Why did that have to happen to you?! That was the worst thing that could have ever happened. You had been in love with Berwald since you were a child…and THAT was how he found out about it…by Prussia reading your diary in front of everyone.
Your tears began to flow even more along with small hics coming from you occasionally; that's when you heard someone pounding on your front door.
"____________! IT'S ALFRED!" your friend called from outside.
"GO AWAY!" you shouted in a pitiful choked voice.
"Ok! I'm coming in!" America said, unlocking your front door with the spare key he had.
Fuck…why did you even try with that guy? It was America; he was gonna do whatever he wanted…and seeing as how you had given him a key to your house since you were best friends, he could have come in no matter what you had said.
Soon the footsteps that had started at your front door, landed outside your room along with a knock on your bedroom door.
"___________? Can I come in?" America asked, his voice softer this time.
You didn't answer…
Slowly the door opened, revealing a sympathetic Alfred. Sure he could be insane…but America had a LOT of heart to him; one that truly cared for people and hated hurt and longed for justice.
"Hey ___________....." America said, sitting next to you and resting a plastic bag on your lap. "I picked up your favorite snacks. I figured you should at least have some good snackage considering yesterday was probably the worst day of your life."
You looked at the blonde and managed a half-smile. "Thanks Al…"
"So…did Sweden say anything after your diary got read?" America asked.
"Well…he started to say something but I ran away." You sighed.
"What?! You ran away?! What if he was about to return your feelings?!" America cried.
"America! You didn't see the look on his face! He looked so shocked…for his face to look like that…he must have been mortified! His face never looks like that, Al!" you said with some agitation.
"Maybe he looked like that because he was so happy and surprised you felt that way about him!" America argued.
"Or maybe he totally shit and was wondering why the hell his best friend was into him!" you snapped back.
America pouted at you. "___________.....what if Sweden likes you?"
You shook your head. "There's no way he could like me Al…"
America was about to object once more when there was a knock at the door.
"Hold on; I'll see who it is." America said, looking out your second floor bedroom window. There was a view of the front door from your window, so he could see who was there. "Dude! It's Sweden!" America said with excitement. "He's totally here to hug you!"
"Oh god." You breathed. What could you do? Sweden had a key to your house too…if you didn't answer, he would probably come in to look for you…or would he? Oh you just didn't know!
"Al, j-just go tell him I'm sick or something!" you begged.
He looked at you questioningly. "You don't want to see him?"
You shook your head. "Please just tell him I can't talk…" you sighed.
America nodded. "Gotcha, ____________. I'll take care of it..."
You smiled; America really was a great friend to you. You closed your eyes and sighed in relief….that was until…
"Oh hey Sweden! I was just here dropping off some groceries for ____________. She's totally upstairs in her room if you want to go up and talk with her!" America said, followed by his goofy laugh.
'THAT BASTARD! I'M GOING TO KILL HIM!' you screamed in your mind. You gasped and forgot your anger however, when you heard familiar footsteps coming up the stairs and heading to your room.
Shit! What should you do? Hide? Pretend you were sleeping? ….no…you were going to have to talk to him sooner or later…and Sweden was no idiot; it's not like you could just trick him or something. And so you waited…
Finally there was a knock at your bedroom door. You let out a pitiful "Come in", hoping that somehow he could hear it.
You closed your eyes when you heard your door open. You could feel him coming closer, his eyes set on your form, before finally sitting next to you on the bed.
"____________." He said in his usual tone, trying to get your attention.
"….hi…" you said pitifully.
There was a silence…finally you took a deep breath and spoke. "I'm sorry, Berwald…"
"Why?" he asked.
You still wouldn't look at him. "Because…that must have been so humiliating for you back there…to be pointed out like that."
"No." he said.
"Berwald…you don't have to pretend you're ok with it all…" you sighed, finally bringing yourself to look at him.
You were shocked again. His face had changed once more; no longer stoic. His face looked so soft…he looked gentle actually. Maybe not perfectly gentle-faced, seeing as he always had a bold look about him, but it was more gentle than usual and his eyes seemed deeper and more emotional.
"Why…? Why are you looking at me that way?" you asked softly.
Sweden said nothing at all but reached up and cupped your cheek, making you gasp.
"You've been crying." He noted.
"Y-yeah…I..I know I look terrible right now too…" you said nervously. His face was quite close…
"You look pretty." He said in his usual tone…yet his tone seemed to have a new depth to it…
"Berwald…no I don't…" you breathed. Something about his eyes was taking your breath away more than usual.
"You always look pretty." He continued, his face coming even closer to yours.
You couldn't finish your sentence as Berwald closed the remaining space between you two, pressing his lips fully against yours.
For a moment you were in complete shock. Your world had stopped once again…but this time it was in a magical, wonderful way…you didn't stay frozen for long however, when all of your pent up feelings for the man came rushing forward as you returned his kiss.
Gently, you wrapped your arms around Sweden's neck and pressed your lips a bit more purposefully against his, meshing them together. You sighed contentedly into the kiss when you felt one of Sweden's hands rest in your (color) hair and the other, hold the small of your back with care.
His kiss was just like you imagined it would be and more. His larger lips fit with your smaller ones perfectly, and Sweden kissed much like he behaved. It wasn't overdone or dramatic; it was simple yet pleasant…and it only made you want more of it. His kiss, though gentle, was full of exactly what he was feeling. Sweden would never have to speak a word to tell you how he felt about you as long as your lips could make contact with his own. You could feel ever single ounce of love, care, longing, and desire in his body and soul…and all of it was for you.
Finally, after what seemed like a moment yet an eternity at the same time, you pulled away and looked at each other. Sweden's intense blue eyes met your (color) orbs…
"I love you, ___________." Sweden said simply, his voice slightly quieter than normal…and it did seem to have an emotional depth to it that wasn't always present.
You felt tears coming to your eyes.
"Don't cry." He said, rubbing his thumb over your cheek to wipe a tear away.
You laughed. "Sorry. I'm just so…so happy…" you breathed, resting your head against his strong chest and wrapping your arms around him.
You sighed and smiled happily when you felt his strong arms wrap around you both protectively and lovingly.
"I loved you right away." Sweden said, breaking the silence between you.
You looked up at him. "Really?" you asked, blinking a few times.
He nodded at you and gave you one of his rare soft smiles…it wasn't a huge grin like Alfred…it was small and gently curved…it made your heart melt and soar at the same time.
"Me too…the moment I saw you…" you said with a smile.
Sweden closed his eyes in contentment, and rested a hand in your hair once again, pulling you to his chest. You were so perfect…he loved everything about you. If he was honest; he had been so sad and worried when you ran away…it killed him on the inside to see his _____________, running away in tears. He felt as if he couldn't do anything for you. He didn't want you to get hurt or ever be alone. He always wanted to be there for you.
"Berwald? Can we stay like this?" you asked quietly.
In response, the strong nation, held you gently still and rested back against the bed, allowing you to cuddle up to him and get comfortable.
"I love you Berwald…" you breathed, nestling in his warmth and allowing yourself to start drifting away.
"I love you too ___________." Sweden said back, holding you close, indulging in the feel of your soft body against his strong one…he was so happy right now; happier than he had ever been.
You smiled against his chest. You knew people thought you were strange for not being scared of the man beside you…and you knew people probably thought it was weird that you loved him. They probably thought your love for him was some sort of random happening or an odd obsession…perhaps a mistake.
Those people were wrong though. Your love for Sweden wasn't some sort of mistake or sudden enthusiasm…you hadn't fallen in love with Sweden. You didn't fall in love; you grew in love. Your love for him had started small in the beginning…when you were young you cared for him, and then as the years passed, those feelings grew and grew. You found more and more things you loved about Sweden, and found more reasons to respect him and treasure him. Real love doesn't just happen, appearing in perfect form instantly; it's something that grows and develops over time…and that was your love for Sweden.
Little did you know that as you thought of all this, Sweden was thinking the exact same thing. He loved you so much…it was a love that had grown over time into something so strong that it almost hurt.
Even though you had both just discovered your feelings for each other and didn't know all of what lied ahead for you, you both definitely knew that you wanted to continue growing in love…